The Tighten The Knot Marriage Conference
What If Your Marriage Got 10x Better?
What would life look like if you created the marriage of your dreams? Would you have better conversations? Would you laugh more, or fight less? Would you travel more? Ask yourself, what is the marriage of your dreams. We started to ask ourselves this question and we challenged our Lifestyle Creators to ask themselves the same question, even if they aren't married or in a committed relationship.
If you are new to our channel, this is our way of documenting and sharing the ways we seek to improve each area of our life with you! The tighten the knot marriage conference is just one of the ways we want to share & document how we create life of our dreams, so you have a blueprint to your best life.
We have been married since June 23, 2018, we attended the event for the first time in march of 2019. So as we approached our first wedding anniversary, what better way to prepare for the journey of marriage, than to particpate in something before actually “needing” it.
So we attended the Tighten The Knot marriage conference, hosted by new spring church in Anderson, SC and it was nothing short of epic to say the least. They had live concert sytle music, games, prizes, and of course some amazing speakers crushing the topic of enjoying the fruits of HAPPY marriage!
We are going to dive into our key take aways from each speaker, but feel free to go check out the recordings of the Tighten The Knot Conference! If you’re in the area for the next event, hit us up and connect with us!
Just a few of the results we’ve experienced from the TTK conference:
- Since attending, and more importantly since applying what we have learned Less Fights
- Better energy.
- More intention
- Better traditions.
- Better example for our kids
- Better meetings in our business! And plenty more we will share with you here!
Clayton Knight Takeaways
Clayton Knight was the first speaker to kick off the conferene. He opened up with an extremely powerful statemnt. “He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” – if you want to experience xzy, I need to express xyz to your wife
Example: If I want to get love or affection from my partner, I should try giving it
Another great tip that he shared, one of my favorites of the entire event is that each of us should be the worlds greatest expert of our spouse. I should aim to be the worlds leading expert on Wesley McMorris. Study your spouse and seek to understand them better then anyone else on the planet.
One big piece of advice that Clayton shared which we are still working on today is Go First.
The person that goes first sets the tone for both people having their needs met. This one practice can result in a marriage filled with joy.
If you’re constantly waiting for a need to be met, you insert whatever need you are looking for from your spouse, it creates more frustration in your world by you waiting on your spouse to take an action that you haven’t properly verbalized. Take the initiative to serve the other person first. You’ll be happier for it.
Lastly, but certainly not least understand that when you’re good to your spouse you’re good to yourself. Your spouse is a mirror and reflection of you. So any problems, flaws, imperfections that your spouse may have (we all have a few) those aren’t just theirs. They are yours too. Take ownership and responsibility for them as if they were your own and watch your marriage flourish.
Jeff Bethke Takeaways
One of the most powerful sessions of the entire event was delivered by, in our eyes “hidden” genius Jeff Bethke! We will cover our key take aways from his speech, but do yourself a favor, follow this guy on Instagram and especially on Youtube for trainings like the one we saw live!
The first thing Jeff really drove home was to be progressive – get a little better and come back in a daily weekly and yearly way….This reminded be of what I read in the compound effect. He suggested to have a weekly, monthly and quarterly relationship check in with your spouse. A performance appraisal! What did you do well? What can you do better at? Guys, note your wife is perfect lol. We do this in our businesses (well, successful business owners do this) but should we really be treating our businesses with more intention and reflection than we treat our marriages? Of course not!
- Ask yourself, Are you getting better daily, weekly, and yearly? Are you checking in and measuring this somehow? Remember what get tracked can be measured. What gets measured, can be improved
- “There is clearly a rhythm in the universe. Your job is to dance to the music – you can be creative but you MUST submit to the music. Have you ever seen someone dancing to the wrong song?”
Some fun facts that we had no clue about before this conference. Jewish and Amish retention rates for children 18, leaving the home is 95-97%. Insane right? That means, that when a Jewish or Amish person hits the age where kids usually leave the home they continue to practice that region. Shockingly, Western Christianity is 20%, something that blew us away!
Another surprising statistic, Jewish born people are responsible for 40% of all Nobel prizes and 30% of all Pulitzer prizes.
Whats the secret to these statistics and retention? 3 things: The table (eating dinner each night), stories that are told at the table, and early identity. There must be tradition that is anchored and tell a good story over a long period of time!
At 13, most Jewish kids are treated as an adult. They are thrown a party to symbolize “coming of age”. Given a story over and over again for each situation they may encounter as they enter manhood. They are not just fed facts of right and wrong, acceptable and unacceptable. They are encouraged to find and pursue their identity, and purpose on this planet at a very young age! Tell stories and connect to an identity. This is your family. This is who are you. This is your story.
- Craft and Create a HIGH POINT/ PEAK in the Week.
We love the idea of date night, which is the high point of the week for parents! But your kids need a high point as well. Friday night is a night that we usually do something as family
We also decided to create a new yearly high point. Instead of having the “big” family get together only be Christmas or thanksgiving we decided that we would turn our wedding anniversary into a special event each year. One where we bring attention to family, the marriages of our parents, the kids, etc.
Instead of making the anniversary solely about us. Why not make it new tradition in our family. One that our kids can carry on to theirs as they redefine what it means to be married and stay married!
Whatever your high point is, whether in feast or family, create a summit. Its sad that businesses do a better job than marriages do at looking at the year. The way to solve the worlds problems is a happy, healthy marriage.
Part 1 Action Steps and Fun Stuff
Find groups at your local church or go to www.meetup.com and find couples that are on your level or above and plan fun activities with them.
Marriage Goal Setting
What do you want your marriage to be like 10 years from now? Start by filling out yearly goals, then work backwards. Your biggest dreams for the future are possible, but only when you commit to change today and everyday that follows.
Ten Years From Now: ______________
“Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.”
In a Year: ________________
Next Month: _________________
Next Week: ____________________
Today: ______________________
How To Set Goals Together:
- Make an agenda – The worst meeting have one thing in common: no agenda. Make a short list of topics you want to talk about (such as life goals, family finances, the calendar, your intimacy etc. Then…
- Get out of the house – Maybe take a weekend trip. Maybe you go to a local coffee shop around the corner. Just block out a few hours of intentional time where you can both focus on the agenda. Then…
- Pray and talk – Ask God for help. He wants to help you! Start with the first topic of the agenda, and go down the list one topic at a time. Be honest with each other. Its that easy. (And that complex) Then…
- Plan your next steps – The is to work toward unity in each topic, and to create clear action steps together!
Check out “Reviving Date Night” – A cool mini series of interviews of amazing couples actively making their relationships better one day at a time!
Ok, now that you took in all that good stuff from part one
Part 2 – Tighten The Knot Conference Review
How We Grow Our Marriage & Business
Welcome to Part 2 of the most epic marriage series in the history of marriage! If you happened to miss episode 1 CLICK HERE TO LISTEN IN NOW. Also, if you want to check out the video series, its all right here for ya!
Today we break down second wave of speakers and the key take aways we took from their speeches!
Our Take Aways From Chelsea Smith
You can follow @chelseasmith
1.) Watch Your Thoughts. Watch Your Words
Words and thoughts either kill your marriage slowly or they progressively give life to your marriage. Understanding that every word you speak, every thought you think effects the quality of your marriage.
2.) Continuously Find Common Interest
Your marriages quality of life boils down to common interest and passion. Where most marriages implode because people grow apart. Not on purpose, not intentionally, but slowing over time. As people get older they take interest in different things.
It’s never too late to cultivate common interest and passions. Cultivate a shared passion.
Our Big Take Aways From Derwin Gray
@derwinlgray on Instagram
Accept The Baggage
When you say “I do” , you also say “I do” to the spiritual backpack of brokenness. You are accepting that whatever that person has been through in the past or is possibly going through right now is yours too. A backpack full of hurt, pain, frustration, and more. Understand that we are born broken, each of us has issues, or family issues and we must understand that as a good spouse.
How do we actually tighten the knot?
Knot Action #1: Embrace Gods purpose for marriage. Your marriage and my marriage belongs to Jesus. It’s a picture to show how Jesus loves to the world. The purpose of your marriage is to provide an example for everyone that is contact with you. The purpose of our marriage is an example for the entire Lifestyle Creators community
Knot Action #2: Embrace a new identity for your marriage. When you become one . The way you think about yourself is the way you’ll treat your spouse.
Knot Action #3: Embrace love and respect
Part 2 Action Steps and Fun Stuff
Find groups at your local church or go to www.meetup.com and find couples that are on your level or above and plan fun activities with them.
Marriage Goal Setting
What do you want your marriage to be like 10 years from now? Start by filling out yearly goals, then work backwards. Your biggest dreams for the future are possible, but only when you commit to change today and everyday that follows.
Ten Years From Now: ______________
“Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.”
In a Year: ________________
Next Month: _________________
Next Week: ____________________
Today: ______________________
How To Set Goals Together:
- Make an agenda – The worst meeting have one thing in common: no agenda. Make a short list of topics you want to talk about (such as life goals, family finances, the calendar, your intimacy etc. Then…
- Get out of the house – Maybe take a weekend trip. Maybe you go to a local coffee shop around the corner. Just block out a few hours of intentional time where you can both focus on the agenda. Then…
- Pray and talk – Ask God for help. He wants to help you! Start with the first topic of the agenda, and go down the list one topic at a time. Be honest with each other. Its that easy. (And that complex) Then…
- Plan your next steps – The is to work toward unity in each topic, and to create clear action steps together!
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